overjoyed_logs | closed | world forgetting by the world forgot

Entry tags:

closed | world forgetting by the world forgot

Who: Lavi, Kanda
Where: Various locations
When: ... Various dates!
Summary: Keeping my non-plot stuff in here!
Restrictions/Warnings: We're aiming for cute so expect extreme angst in like five tags.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Navigating the dark labyrinth of Old Town is ordinarily a fairly easy task. He remembers the grooves in the streets, the feel of stone as his heel makes contact--an uneven space here, a slope there. Lavi could slip through this world blindfolded, and in his current circumstances, he can't help but think it'd be easier.

Of course, he may just be thinking particularly unkindly of his partner because he wanted that kitten.

Its paws and pink nose.. it was so cute..

So add the lack of a kitten, a drunk partner leaning heavily on him, and the general interruption to his well-earned beauty sleep, and the bookman apprentice is downright sullen. His silence hangs heavy with accusation, though he is most certainly not pouting--it's more like brooding.

(Evidently, his capacity to look menacing is strong enough to deter any would-be night creatures on the return trip as well, though he's at least half sure it has something to do with the heavy armaments shared between them.)

A heavy breath, somewhere between a huff and a sigh, though the majority of its volume is lost to the sound of Noah's ramp lowering. ]

C'mon. We're home.

[ His mastery of language makes the tone of that really sound more like, "But I wanted a kitten." ]

[Even if he'd been stone-sober, Kanda would have had difficulty in telling Lavi 'no' to that damned cat. And not because it had the cutest little paws, and the softest, most pleading cries...

He's never seen Lavi pout quite like that, and it leaves him feeling oddly guilty.

But even drunk, he's all too aware of the fact that a ship is no place for something so small. There are just too many places for the little critter to disappear into, to get hurt or caught. A ship is no place for such a small animal.

And he keeps telling himself this during the walk home - to both keep from turning back, and paying too close attention to the body pressed close to his.

Because unlike the man at his side, a receding disease failed to take the memory of warm lips and warmer hands from Kanda's mind as it disappeared. And much as he'd tried to drink the memories away, all it had taken was this lack of space to remind him.

It also reminds him of a realization held earlier - namely that he's tired of trying to match memory loss with feigned ignorance.

Because the truth is that... well, he'd liked it. More than liked.

He wanted to catch that feeling again.

Which is a problem, given that Lavi well and truly seems to have no recall of it.

Perhaps this, then, is the reason he turns his head, cheek resting against the taller man's shoulder, nose just barely teasing against the curve of Lavi's neck as he listens to the bay door lower before he speaks. Voice low and breath a warm whisper against skin, he hums a quiet note.]

Don't be mad at me, Rabbit. It could get hurt on a ship, an' I don't want to see that.

Edited 2017-02-17 05:03 (UTC)

[ With the threat of danger largely behind them (there's still the lingering crews here and there, their voices faint but distinct murmurs against his awareness), Lavi's attention narrows, constrains itself in the here and now rather than the there and then. His sensorium, released from the reigns of combat proficiency, filters in the weight against his side first, summoning confused snippets of dreams.

--a tenuous meeting of lips and fragile hearts, wanting and demanding for so much more than they can take--

He pushes the confounding visions aside, seeking the petulant frustration of his lack of sleep and decided lack of furry friend to ground him. It's difficult to keep his sense of anger when warm breath washes against his skin and a low voice vibrates throughout his ears, but he's as determined as he is stubborn, and those forces together are nigh unstoppable.

Lavi takes a calming breath, consciously drawn and measured, before attempting a reply. ]

I'm not mad.

[ Careful steps lead them up the now waiting ramp, one hand gripping into the other's wrist, the other curled around a lean side to facilitate the motion. ]

I'm just tired.

[ Though he still sounds fairly accusatory in that. His face softens after a moment, mature enough to concede that a pet isn't in their best interest but not so mature to let it go in entirety.

(When did he start thinking in long-term goals? He won't be here more than a year, possibly less, with the current political climate. A pet is a commitment well past what he can make.)

Leaning away enough to hit the control console beside the ramp, Lavi grumbles to himself, looking down at the man playing torture on his nerves. There's no way Kanda knows of those confusing dreams, so he can't hold it against him, but damn if the proximity isn't making it difficult to concentrate.

A second sigh, heavy and long-suffering, flows past slightly curved lips as he regards Yu sullenly. ]

I didn't even know you could get this drunk. Is there any hokk left in Old Town or did you just crash the economy?

If anything, I boosted the economy.

[Laughing softly at that as they stand beside the console, the sound low and rich, he shifts a little more, enough to step half in front of the other...

And then, quite deliberately, reaches up to drape his other arm over Lavi's other shoulder, lets his body rest more solidly against Lavi's before he closes his eyes on a sigh.

It's a gamble, true... but in this, he just wants to see his partner's reaction. To see if the memory is utterly gone, or just buried beneath a fevered curtain, waiting to be drawn back.

(And if it gives him a chance to breathe in that familiar scent, steal a moment of comfortable warmth under the guide of drunken laziness, he's not above thievery.

Not when others given are still there to haunt both waking hours and dreams alike.)

To this end, he draws a deep breath, sighs it out in a warm breath against flesh as he reaches a hand up to poke the back of Lavi's head.]

Don' lie to me - you're a little mad so... 'm sorry. Idiot.

Edited 2017-02-18 06:43 (UTC)

[ Turning away from the panel to lead his drunk partner to a reasonably soft enough surface to pass out, he's caught by surprise in more ways than one when Yu steps forward and.. hugs him.

Lavi stiffens, his muscles solidifying into stone, arm lifted and held rigid at Yu's back as if he expects the man to fall at any moment. He tries, desperate for an explanation that won't feed into his misconceptions about their relationship, to come up with any other word for this action but hug.

But there's no other descriptor that fits. Yu isn't falling over, he's falling forward, into Lavi, and it's--

Three times as difficult to keep focus for it. Fantasies, half-lifted from burned memories and fevered dreams, interplay across his vision, his body yearning to crumple and fold around his partner even as his mind protests.

(A controlled breath between set teeth, willing himself not to forget his anger and ignore the heat growing between them.

It works, for a moment. It works up until the point that Yu starts slurring and apologizing, and then the threads of irritation loosen and drift away before he can reach for them again.)

This time, the sigh that echoes out from him is soft, the irritated edge of dampened with a note of defeat. The tension leaves him for a moment, the statuesque arm folding neatly around Kanda's ribs while his other hand reaches up to brush back long hair.

He smiles, soft and a little wistful, chin set against temple. ]

Geeze, you're making me feel bad. Fine, I'm a little mad.

[ And you're a lot drunk, he adds mentally, chiding himself for enjoying the fruits of that inebriation as he draws back from the embrace. Grinning a little more ruefully than he intends, he offers in a teasing tone, forgiveness clear but not without its price: ]

But I guess you're a handful enough without adding anything else to the mix. Think you can make it to your room?

Dunno what you mean by that shit, but 'm fine.

[His indignation at being called a handful would probably be more believable if he hadn't made as face as he'd stepped back, hadn't swayed a little too much for the effort and thrown his hands out to capture a semblance of balance once again.

Sniffing, he cuts a sidelong look at his partner, a glint of triumph in his gaze - and not just because he'd managed to not fall on his ass - but because he'd caught the shift from wary tension to something almost like that night.

A hint of affection in the brush of fingers along his side, the tease of a smile against his forehead.

It's enough to let him know that, even if Lavi never managed to recover those memories, creating similar ones while they're both aware isn't so impossible as he'd thought.

Humming softly to himself, he then scoffs as if accepting a challenge.]

But if you wan'a handful... okay. Challenge accepted. Hm.

[Spinning abruptly on his heel (and almost losing his balance in the process) he grunts and catches himself on the side of the rover before stepping with all the resolute determination that a thoroughly drunken Kanda Yu can manage.]

[ He considers doing as he as often done in this moment: letting his unusually malleable partner make his own mistakes--ones which he is evidently convinced must be done in the name of honor or pride--without interference. Expression twisted into contained amusement, his once-full arms fall loosely at his side, swaying idly.

(Think not of how cold they seem now, how empty the air and atmosphere feels without the weight and warmth of him; let these thoughts scatter and wait for a safer moment to return, because you've given up on the idea that they'll stay gone for good.)

But what he has always done, it occurs to Lavi, has seldom truly worked for him. Swearing off attachments has not lessened his ability to form them, it has simply made their severing more painful for it. Likewise, telling himself--or indeed, even telling Yu--that he won't intervene in the natural consequences of actions has done little to actually curb such intervention.

It's just a form of denial, a crudely shaped, easily broken, wholly transparent kind of denial.

He steps around the rover, eyebrow raised, his indecision clear. But now it is not a matter of deciding between actions for the sake of duty or the sake of personal attachment--now it's just a choice between whether his sense of humor is more vindictive than his sense of concern.

In the end, his concern wins, announcing itself in the low laughter off his still contained mouth. ]

Yeah, you do that.

[ Accept his challenge, he means. Repositioning himself, he takes ownership of Yu's arm again, pulls it over his shoulders with a weary sound as his other arm finds purchase in a trim side. It's not strictly gentle, this action, but it's not overly rough, either, exerting only as much force as he needs to make his point.

He will carry Yu's drunk ass to bed with little room for negotiation. ]

Tomorrow. You can do that tomorrow and thank the trees I can't record and carry your dumbass at the same time.

I will. Bastard.

[There's an indignant grunt when he's pulled to Lavi's side, the world shifting rather precariously for a moment. A slow blink and the world settles right side up again, prompts him to turn to glare at his partner as they continue out of the hanger.

Much as everyone assumes Kanda is the stubborn one of the two of them, looking at the set of Lavi's jaw, he's not so certain that's the case. Because for all that Lavi teases, the grip holding him is strong, sure, and (a little) unyielding.

It's nice...

Blinking at that, he shakes his head and draws a deep breath, lets the dizziness jar him out of his senses because even now, some vague part of him relieved that his inebriated state is... probably... enough to cover the sharp spike of want that being this close, that feeling the firm press of a hand at his hip, that seeing the hard line of that jaw elicits.

Impulse is not usually something Kanda has to work to contain, but this walk?

It's going to kill him, long before the copious amounts of alcohol has the chance.]

It is tomorrow. Or today? Mmm... Today.

[Another slow blink as he keeps his gaze turned to the side, watches the corridor slide by, his thoughts trying to drift back to the last time they were so close, though at the opposite end of these halls. Talk about symbolism even he can see.]

Don' regret it when I do. I won't lose.

[Muttered words, barely breathed out, but there's a definite ring of something almost fierce, determined, in the warning.]

[ Lavi speaks several languages--most of them lingua franca, of course--as a result of his long travels. He's versed in the syntax and patterns of speech that many within the Quad have never heard of, let alone absorbed with their own ears.

Which is to say that Lavi considers himself something of a communication expert and yet for all his years and studies, he has no freaking clue what Yu is on about.

Drunk Kanda, alas, is not a tongue he's ready to translate without a reference dictionary nearby.

Not that he doesn't try, studying his partner with an askance look that conveys much of his frustrated confusion. It's a blessing in itself, too, because as long as he's trying to decipher exactly what challenge Kanda has accepted and will not lose (to be a handful? He's fairly sure there's a rule against professionals competing--), he's not thinking about the thundering heartbeat in his ears or restrained quiver in his spine.

So he takes this challenge with perhaps more zeal than he normally would, bemused smile still in place when he answers that warning agreeably (though he's still not sure what he's agreeing to, exactly). ]

I'll hold you to that then.

[ He sounds almost sincere, even, and the short nature of the answer almost keeps the laughter from spilling through. It's not quite successful (it never is), and when he glances down to catch Yu's eye, he notices the distinct absence of a meeting gaze.

Humming softly, the fingers at Kanda's side dance lightly in place in a tease as he tilts his head down to bump his nose against Yu's cheek. It makes the walk a little awkward for a moment, but he's never been one to forgo aggravating his partner just because of a silly thing like logistics. ]

Are you mad now? C'mon, I was only joking. Yuuuu. [ Pleading, albeit still somehow laughing. ] Forgive me? Please?

What? Why 'm I the one that's mad? Maybe you're mad an' you need to forgive me

[He's pretty sure that makes no sense, positive, really, but in his defense he's too busy thinking This proves it. If those bastard Trees are real, they fucking hate me.

Because he can hear the laughter warming Lavi's taunt, feel that hum shiver down his spine before the trace and flicker of fingers against his side.

He tries to ignore that, too, and almost succeeds - but then warm breath teases along his neck and Lavi's face right there, and he can't help the way his body jerks as if to lean closer, hand fisting in the fabric of his partner's jacket, right between his shoulder blades.

You're gonna be the death of me, he thinks with a moment's clarity, even as his face jerks to the side, towards the source of his latest torment.

Noses bump, lips passing tantalizingly close but not quite touching before they brush past each other, before he - in an equally clear moment - purposefully lets his feet stumble, as if balance lost.

His grip tightens a little more in Lavi's jacket as he completes the move, drops his forehead to the curve of his partner's neck with a soft curse and a prayer to any god or overgrown shrubbery for a reprieve, before he does something completely and utterly reckless.]

Bastard! You're gonna make me fall. Imma take you with me though.

[ Another failure of translation, he thinks with no small amount of amusement, he's babbling like a brook.

It's endearing, if mildly frustrating, and there can be no more succinct summary of his emotions up to this point. First he's stirred from his sleep to discover Yu missing (so rare that he falls asleep early or first), and then he's summoned to retrieve the man in question after an evident night of debauchery.

That, of course, had been the frustrating parts to now. The more endearing aspects are fresher, a recent arrival to the course of the night. The warm, buzzing distraction of Yu's body leaned into his--the tease of breath on his neck stirring up senses he's desperate to quell and answer simultaneously.

These things, albeit frustrating in their own right, are among the perks of this strange journey.

Lavi is given precious little time to enjoy or reflect on these thoughts before the world shifts.

At first, the spasm felt beneath his hand and the subsequent twist into him is received as just another aspect of this strangely uncoordinated creature. He anticipates it, choreographs the completion of the movement before it's come to pass, and still he--

Gets it completely, utterly wrong, breath catching in his throat, lips parted slightly as if in protest or yielding to the abrupt change of position. Dreams press to his mind, scattered images of moments like these interlacing in the present. If he just leaned forward that little bit more, he could..could..

Could what? Carry out decisions he's fully cognizant of being entirely wrong and foolish? Break the precious balance of their friendship?

He's caught off guard, blissfully and gratefully so, as Yu stumbles instead, a mix of absolute thankfulness and self-loathing washing over him as he releases that breath and reaches to catch on the wall. Yu isn't particularly heavy, but he's also fairly close to Lavi's height, so the threat issued is one he believes--if he's not mindful, they're both going to end up falling down.

Despite--or perhaps even because of--internal berating, Lavi manages to keep himself from falling prey to the misstep, arm tightening that much more around Yu as he stabilizes them.

Just a few more steps. That's all he has to do before he can deposit Yu on his bed and call the night done between them. ]

Easy, easy. We're almost there.

[ He's not sure who he's reassuring at that point, but it doesn't matter, because he's telling the truth. Just a few more steps and he motions the door panel to Yu's room open, belatedly realizing he's yet to loosen his grip since their near fall. ]

Here we are. C'mon, I'll help you change. I'm starting to get buzzed off the fumes coming off you.

[ ..yeah he's not going to realize the folly of that until it's too late, but at least his temporary ignorance lets him keep steady as he turns them around to drop Yu back first on the not-at-all made bed. ]

[More than a little drunk and even more aware of the person currently holding him and walking him backwards towards his room, it seems easier to Kanda's mind just then to simply trust in his partner's guiding steps and remain hidden against the other man's shoulder.

(That it gives him the chance to simply close his eyes and breathe deep the familiar scent, allows him a few moments of stolen intimacy, their slightly out of pace steps much like an unfamiliar dance, is simply a bonus.)

That is, until Lavi oh so helpfully offers to help him change.

Immediately, his mind supplies him with the memory of Lavi's fingertips sliding around his sides, slipping beneath his shirt... provides fuel to imagine those same hands slipping apart buttons, prying apart a belt--

Fuck.Fuck.I'm so fuckin'-- Shit. Get it together, idiot. He's gonna see...

Kanda (mostly) manages to push the images aside, to suppress a shudder and a groan at that, a shiver of pure anticipation before he finds himself rather unceremoniously dumped onto an annoyingly messy bed. The world spins disarmingly and he has to snap a hand out to the side, fingers curling, twisting, in the bedding beside him in a futile attempt to dispel the dizzying sensation.

It's a loosing battle, however, and so he lets out a huff of a breath as he falls back in the bed, eyes nearly shut as he turns his head, focuses on keeping the edge of the bed in sight.

That is, after all, worlds easier than focusing on his partner's... everything... just then.]

...Can sleep like this. 'S fine.

[ Bemused (and luckily for Kanda, because he doesn't think much of that twisting hand and the thin line of tension in him, writing it off as an expected byproduct of entirely too much to drink), Lavi shakes his head, moving around to shift Yu's legs so he can sit on the bed. ]

Yeah, well, I can't sleep like this.

[ And since he's more or less started staking his claim on the land that is Yu's bedroom, the bed is equally his to mandate or not make as he pleases. He can sleep through a lot, but trying to drift off into sweet dreams while laying next to a hokk distillery in human form?

Even he's not that good.

Capturing one of Kanda's ankles, he huffs, deftly plucking at the tied threads of laces. At least Kanda wears shorter boots than him so this process shouldn't be overly difficult if he can coax some concentration out of his partner.

He still hasn't started thinking about the ramifications or where this could lead, entirely too tired to throw himself into the frenzy of analytics just yet. Boot tossed haphazardly somewhere off to the side (where Kanda has thankfully not yet noticed a nest of papers beginning), he moves to the opposite ankle, clicking his tongue in light disapproval. ]

You could've called if you were gonna be out this late. I wouldn't have gone to sleep so early.

[ ...totally a thing that platonic partners do, right? And the bristling, that's normal too.

Huff. Again. (Okay, he's still mad.) ]

W4D6; Old Town

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Leith; W6D2

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