where the self resides [closed]

[refactor]

Who: Handsome Jack + Angel
Where: Angel's Bunker
When: After the fall of the Accords was announced... this is hella backdated forgive me
Summary: All of Jack's plans fall apart, and he has to take that out on somebody. Unfortunately, only one person really knows what they are.
Restrictions/Warnings: General content warning for emotionally abusive behavior of a parent to their child. I'm really sorry about Jack.

[ If it were anyone else, they might have found it funny, to be honest.

There was something poetic and fitting about the fact that he had been playing at cards just before. And not only that, but Jack had been on a real hot streak, winning every hand. There's nothing like winning at poker to make you feel like a hot shot—like you're the king of the world. Jack had always loved that feeling. He chased it with every fiber of who he was, because that high was one of the finest ones you could get.

So, really, he should have known it would all come crashing down. That's the problem with highs. They never last.

He had been returning home after playing his hands with Lavi, but his trip back had been interrupted by the breaking news. The Accords were no more. It was as simple as that, and everything that Jack had been working his whole life for was gone. Vanished, up in smoke in an instant. On a whim of someone who had never worked nearly as hard for a day as he had his entire life.

At first, he hadn't wanted to believe it. It was a sick, sick feeling that made his stomach drop out, and immediately, that feeling was so familiar that he recognized it immediately. The only time he had felt this before in his life was when someone came with that news that had changed the rest of his life. Your wife and daughter were attacked, some Enforcer says casually, like it doesn't mean a goddamn thing. Because that was always the problem. It had been then, and it was no. It wasn't anything. No one cared, because no matter how hard Jack worked or how much he tried to change things to create that vision of the Quad in his dreams, he was still bound by blood. He could rebrand himself as Handsome Jack, the Intake manager you sure as hell don't want to piss off, the guy that even the Company gave respect to, because he was brilliant, but at the end of the day? He was still John Marten. He was just a Westie who didn't matter beyond what he could do to make the Company more money.

He had wanted to go home, and maybe he should. There's a part of him that knows that what's brewing in his head is a bad idea, but he decides that he doesn't care. Because the shitty part about all the work he's done and all the work he wants to do is that he feels that it leaves him alone. He'd learned that lesson through the scar branded into his face, and that's another bitter reminder. He can't trust anyone. He can't trust anyone with his plans or what he's feeling, so in the face of having his whole life broken down completely out of his control... Who else can he turn to but family? ]

Angel?

[ Jack had changed his mind and made a beeline for Angel's bunker instead. It was reckless and rash, because he was usually extremely careful with coming to visit her. It was planned, methodical, and purposeful, because it had to be, in his mind. So there's warning enough that Jack's voice comes so suddenly. He usually gives her warning or asks her if there's anything she needs or wants, but this is unannounced, though probably not unexpected. Angel has to know about what's happened too, and it's why he won't bother explaining himself. It's also why there's emotion in his voice that's dangerous. Anger, hurt, betrayal—All things that mix into a very dangerous mess for Jack. ]

Angel, we- I— I've gotta stop this. There- There's no way they can just take away the friggin' Accords! C'mon, c'mon, we've gotta move! Screw everyone else, what can you do to at least get ours back online?

Comments

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[Angel was aware of the news as soon as it went live, how could she not be? Her immediate reaction had been a deep, inconsolable dread. Not for what had been lost, but the storm that would come in its wake in the form of her father. She knew he would come to her as soon as he heard about the accords, what she hadn't been expecting was that it would be in person, she wasn't prepared to deal with Jack so directly.

She was startled when she heard the entrance to her room opening, unable to get her barrings or even issue so much as a hello before Jack started going off.]

Jack—

[Quickly, she pulls up several windows on the screen in front of her, but it's mostly for show. She knows from how things have been unfolding, from data shes gathered over the years on the accords and processing and placement that this is pointless, that Jack is asking her the impossible. If there were a way to hack the accords, she would have done it a long time ago.
But she knows telling Jack this so bluntly would be a mistake, she has to at least pretend to try, to placate him, to hold off the monster that's threatening to break free and come at her. Please let Jack have the strength.]

I'll- I'm looking into all options, but haven't found anything viable yet.

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Nothing viable?

[ Jack spits out the word like it leaves a bad taste in his mouth, and there's ease, palpable aggression in his posture and his voice. He tries to keep it away from Angel, but at the sametime, this isn't the first time she's seen it. Jack has a temper, and while most of the time, he directs that at other people, sometimes, she's the only one that can take the brunt of it. ]

No, nonono, that is not a good answer, Angel. That's— Come on, you've got everything you need right at your fingertips! There's- There's gotta be a way.

[ He sounds desperate for that, and it's clear he's trying to reason and justify this for himself more than to her. Jack comes up behind her and places a hand on her shoulder as he looks at the screens she's pulled up. His gaze is sharp, and the grip isn't tight, but the weight and emotion with it probably make it deeply uncomfortable all the same. ]

We can't just take this crap for an answer, Angel! We've gotta figure it out! Like, don't be friggin' stupid, this is everything I've been working for! So- God, even if it's just total shot in the dark crap, you've- Give me something here.

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[ She withdraws into herself at his approach- a base instinct, make yourself small- flinching when his hand meets her shoulder, both her breath and the speed of her searching picking up along side Jack's rising temper.

Anxiety usually creeps up on her, a feeling that starts in her solar plexus that slowly spreads out till it's filling her lungs, lead in her chest. This time it comes in a rush, the urgency of the situation opening the floodgates and crushing her beneath while she fights against it for a second to breathe.]

I'm looking-

[ There's an uptick to her tone as panic begins to take hold. Angel is a lot of things, but she still isn't a miracle worker, she has her limits and she knows already what this one is, but also doesn't know what else to do but try despite it all, to desperately hold off the inevitable.]

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[ It's not the answer he wants to hear, even if he doesn't have any doubts that Angel is telling the truth. Jack often has this kind of conflict between rationality and his own emotions, but more often than not, emotion wins. Especially when he feels her tense under his hands, because that stings at his ego in a way that he never wants to acknowledge. A more sane man might take that as a sign he should calm down, but it ends up just winding Jack up more.

He pulls away, since he simply doesn't want to feel her fear under his hands (it's easier to ignore when he doesn't), and instead, he starts to pace. Jack's expression is twisted up in thought, but there's an edge to it that's dangerous. He's thinking of some rational way through this, but just as much, he's thinking about who he could kill to eliminate this problem all together. Admittedly, that's more a fantasy than reality, but still— It'd certainly feel sweet to kill every single one of the Nine. ]

Ah, ah, ah— [ His tone starts out chiding, and he wags a finger at her, but his expression stays angry. ]

Looking- That's- That's not gonna work this time. Just— [ He growls out in frustration, shaking his head, but it turns to a laugh. It's unhinged, but incredulous. ] No, there's not gonna be anything to find, is there? That— This is really it, isn't it? Just, poof, just like that, and everything... Everything's gone right from under me!

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[ Angel had promised herself not to cry in front of Jack a long, long time ago. Not only did it tend to only escalate the situation, but it left her vulnerable to him. This time though, she's having difficulty holding the tears back. The situation seems so hopeless, and Jack has already seen the truth of it, that there is nothing she can do, not really, and beyond this moment all she can see is his unbridled rage.

She takes a deep breath, holds it, before solemnly shaking her head. ]

I'm sorry Jack.

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[ It's the answer he expects, but it's still not the one he wants to hear. Jack stares at her expectantly for the moments it takes for her to answer like he's thinking that she'll be able to say "nevermind Jack, here's what we can do" but naturally, that doesn't come. ]

Aghhh, this is so frustrating!

[ He yells out angrily as he stalks closer to some short table nearby, and needing some place to take out his anger, the word frustrating is punctuated by Jack grabbing the table and half-throwing it so it clatters loudly against the ground. It's louder still because of the emptiness of Angel's bunker, and the sound echoes and lingers, just like Jack's anger itself. Naturally, his outburst doesn't make him feel any better. If anything, it just makes him more upset, which is why after a moment, he whips around to look at Angel scathingly, but then up at her screens. ]

But- You're sorry, but that's not gonna do anything. I— Goddammit, this can't change anything. I'll just- Eventually, when I'm at the top, I'll just have to... reverse this crap.

[ Though it sounds like not much of a plan, even to his ears, and he grits his teeth angrily. ]

Whose bright idea was it, Angel? C'mon, you've gotta know that. They're— Ohhh, they're gonna have to be a place to start.

[r3f4c70r3d]

[ Angel watched warily as Jack paces around, startling at his loud outburst when he effectively breaks the small table, its former contents skittering across the floor in all directs, a few small pieces rolling to a stop at her feet.

That's always been Jack's goal, to get to the top, and it's been Angel's job to help him get there, but the path to do so seems more muddied than ever.

She's turned her gaze away from him at this point, he becomes too hard to look at when he gets like this, so deviated from the father of her past. In a childlike way, it's like if she doesn't see it she can pretend it isn't happening, doesn't have to face that hurt yet.

At his inquiry she pulls up a few new screens, some with official news reports, some with gathered information from civilians, and those who wouldn't want to keep this debacle clean. ]

It's- it seems complicated, sir. Official reports are placing the blame on the Resistance, saying their actions forced the Nine's hand, but rumors and word behind closed doors suggest that it was largely the Kendry's who pushed for this decision.

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[ As the screens pop up, it at least redirects Jack's attention, and he stops his pacing to look up to them instead. He reads what's there quickly as Angel speaks, though his expression doesn't grow any less tense and twisted. He's on the edge of another outburst, because his rage is never easily cooled, but it's at least starting. When he has someone to blame, then it gives him focus. It gives him something to direct this anger towards instead of it simply being explosive. ]

Bullshit on the Resistance part. Or at least, it's not the part that matters.

[ He's no fan of them, but it's at least something that's almost inconsequential for what he wants, at least for now. They might be a problem later, but it's one that's not worth putting any time into now beyond vaguely trying to keep track of who they are and what they're doing. Hell, for now? He's thinking that they're quietly and unintentionally something like allies. If they want to bring down the Nine... Maybe that's not so bad. It's a thought that'll be ftting latter, but for now, it's just idle.

To the actual "culprits" as Jack sees them, he just laughs, though it's sharp and barking. ]

Ohhh, naturally. Awesome. [ He clicks his tongue in irritation, but there's a brief silence as he thinks it over, but then speaks lowly. ] Angel, new priority. I want you to find out everyone in the Nine that has beef with the Kendry family. We're talkin' anything from petty grudge to assassination attempts. Just want names. For now.

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[ It's easy to assume where Jack's line of thought is going, and she knows better than to question her father, but this is a lofty goal even for him. To take out the nine, provided her assumptions are correct, is a feat few have tried, and obviously no one has accomplished. In-fighting is something she's sure is a near constant in Qureshi culture, why would this time be any different? ]

I'll get right on it, sir. Should I use our current connections or prioritize finding new channels? And, pardon me for speaking freely, but even should house Kendry fall, how would this further your end goal?

[ It's not questioning exactly (oh gods please don't take it as questioning), but clarification. Even the concept of stability would be welcomed right now. ]

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[ He huffs out a noise of irritation, but with something like a plan in mind, his temper is at least starting to cool. It's a good thing, because her question does put Jack on the defensive, but it's at least not quite explosive. ]

My end goal? [ He repeats the words like she's just asked something stupid, and Jack laughs as he turns back to her, but his face is cut by more of a sneer. He's still bristling with energy and anger, but now it has a place to be funneled. ]

Angel, that's got nothing to do with that. I- Look, you just don't screw with me and get away with it, that's all I'm sayin'. If- If I have a chance to make them hurt?

[ He looks back at the screens, then laughs and shakes his head. ]

I've gotta take it, y'know?

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[ "To make you make them hurt" is what she hears, what she know's he means. Up until now, Angel had accepted her role. Things could be...unsavory, with the methods Jack asked her to use, but she understood the goal was a better life for the both of them, a life on Leith where she could live freely again. Is this her destiny now, to be used as a tool for revenge over the future that's been lost? Is this it? This is it, isn't it. She'll live and die in these four walls.

But she doesn't say any of that. Complaining....isn't going to change anything. So she resigns, as she did when she arrived here, as she always does. ]

Understood, sir.

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[ As always, he's oblivious or ignoring Angel's turmoil, because it's no sooner than she acknowledges his plan that his mood seems to switch just like that. His extremes of emotion fluctuate so much in so quickly that it can be dizzying and dangerous, but at least this is... kind of better. It's more like a lateral movement, considering what his cheer is about.

He turns back to her again, but from his posture, it's clear he's putting more of his attention back to her. He throws his arms wide as an open, easy gesture, but the grin that pulls at his mask is sharp still. It's a moment where the strange, uncanny nature of his mask is highlighted more than it was perhaps meant to. ]

But- But, don't worry, baby! That's just a cherry on top. Like- Like, a super sweet one that I'm definitely alllll about, but—

[ He shakes his head with a laugh, though it sounds more incredulous. In that, it's clear that Jack is still trying to work through this change and piece it together. ]

There's... I mean, things are gonna change. They have to, because they've never tried to pull shit like this. So- So when they do, that's gonna be the best opportunity. I'll take the goddamn Company right out from under 'em while it crumbles.

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[ This is it. When he smiles like that Angel's stomach always drops. Gods, it's so departed from the man he was before, she used to feel the same uneasy fear when he'd take his glasses off and be replaced by something both familiar and not all at once.

This is it. Jacks idea is borderline insane, far removed from anything he's- they've- tried to pull before, and even though it's him she questions the chance of success of taking on the Nine, of taking the entire Company. She questions the plan, but she doesn't dare question him, not right now. ]

Okay.

The Nine...the Company...and then Lieth

[ Please. Please, don't let this be it. ]

Then things can go back to normal.

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[ To Jack, it all makes sense. Maybe it has to, because how else could you go through with a plan like this? But his confidence in himself and his abilities was dizzying enough that this seems difficult, but not impossible, and that's all that matters. It's attainable, and all it takes is stepping on some people along the way. He has no doubts that people are going to die for this plan to come to fruition, but they would thank him for that, he's sure. Because under his control, the Company wouldn't— couldn't pull anything like they had just done to him. In his imagination, he sees himself bringing peace and order to these godforsaken moons. ]

Better than normal, Angel. It's- It'll be better than anything this place has ever been.

[ He corrects her with intensity in his voice, but he closes that distance between them to place a hand on her head. It's fond, but it's not quite gentle. He doesn't mean for it to come off as especially possessive, but it's emotion leaking out in a way he can't control. ]

You know I'm doing this for you, right? I, I mean, I don't want my baby girl to have to be in any danger. Not again. [ Or at least, that's the justification that sounds noble. It's not untrue, but just as much, he thirsts for power and control. Maybe that's why his touch doesn't linger, and he steps back and withdraws his hand. ] So- So, this isn't the end or any crap like that. Just, y'know, minor setback. ...Or maybe a little more major, whatever, totally can be overcome is the point here.

[ He puts his hands on his hips and stares at her, perhaps more intensely than he means to. There's something familiar about this, and it causes him to pause. It's an intense feeling of deja vu, as if he's had this conversation once before, but also that he had done just that already. He was already king, so why was he struggling to do this? But the thought is something easily attributed to his own confidence in himself, so ultimately, he just offers: ]

Just trust me, Angel.

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[ Angel isn't completely convinced, but she's starting to be. It's easier to have hope, easier to believe in Jack and his grand promises then the alternative.
When he steps back from her she finally looks up at him, and then makes the worst choice she's made in a long time: she makes the choice to have faith. ]

Okay. I...I trust you.

[ Because for now, faith is all she's got. ]