[It's intoxicating and addicting, this slow slick glide of tongues, the way Lavi's lips feel as they tease over his own, the silent mantra of wanting more, to feel more, taste more pushing him to delve in deeper still, causes him to let out a low groan, a delicious shiver following in the wake of an exploring hand until he feels that first brush of fingertips against bare flesh.
He shudders softly at the warm glide of a hand, the hint of nails tracing flesh, utterly lost in the moment until the the need to breathe becomes too great, forces Lavi to break contact, leaves him breathless and staring, caught in a near unbearably open gaze.
It's enough, for the moment, to (mostly) alleviate his earlier fears - though he can still hear the way that 'bye' had echoed with a stark finality, still feel the mind-numbing panic that had pierced his heart that whatever Lavi had been seeing was enough to make the other man disappear.
It's selfish, he knows, but he's not ready to lose this - especially this, now - but more... having this man there by his side, fighting with and beside him, challenging him in ways Kanda had never thought possible. And there are so few things he's selfish on, but this...
Would this closeness, this new degree of intimacy really ruin his partner, or just stop the progression of personalities? Could he live with shattering that part of this man?
He's not entirely sure, because while there is some part of him feels like it's a degree of guilt that he can live with... there's another part that wonders if it would cause this desire to fester into hate, for taking something away from the man before him.
It's not something he can figure out now, nor does he have the capacity of clarity to try. Not when Lavi is looking at him like that. With no walls and no barriers between them, vulnerable in a way he's never been.
It's enough to have his breath catch, the hand at the other's back pulling them ever closer while the other slides back to card slowly through sleep-mussed locks. Slowly, he leans in, lips ghosting over a cheek, the corner of the too bright eye, down to trace lips in a featherlight caress once, twice, before they press at the corner of Lavi's mouth.]
Maybe... maybe we're both idiots then, for not realizing.
[It's almost calming, to say it - to admit it. Enough so that something else slithers in to catch his awareness... Lavi's hand feels like it's burning against his bare skin, warms his own hands a little too much. Impulsively, he traces his nose along a damp cheek, darts his tongue out to slowly catch the lingering evidence of tears along a jaw before he whispers beside his partner's ear.]
But you're still too warm. You need rest, and probably food... [Breath catching, his eyes fall shut, temple resting against temple, more care than he knows how to voice there in the way he's holding, supporting, Lavi.] Just don't push me away, not this time.
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He shudders softly at the warm glide of a hand, the hint of nails tracing flesh, utterly lost in the moment until the the need to breathe becomes too great, forces Lavi to break contact, leaves him breathless and staring, caught in a near unbearably open gaze.
It's enough, for the moment, to (mostly) alleviate his earlier fears - though he can still hear the way that 'bye' had echoed with a stark finality, still feel the mind-numbing panic that had pierced his heart that whatever Lavi had been seeing was enough to make the other man disappear.
It's selfish, he knows, but he's not ready to lose this - especially this, now - but more... having this man there by his side, fighting with and beside him, challenging him in ways Kanda had never thought possible. And there are so few things he's selfish on, but this...
Would this closeness, this new degree of intimacy really ruin his partner, or just stop the progression of personalities? Could he live with shattering that part of this man?
He's not entirely sure, because while there is some part of him feels like it's a degree of guilt that he can live with... there's another part that wonders if it would cause this desire to fester into hate, for taking something away from the man before him.
It's not something he can figure out now, nor does he have the capacity of clarity to try. Not when Lavi is looking at him like that. With no walls and no barriers between them, vulnerable in a way he's never been.
It's enough to have his breath catch, the hand at the other's back pulling them ever closer while the other slides back to card slowly through sleep-mussed locks. Slowly, he leans in, lips ghosting over a cheek, the corner of the too bright eye, down to trace lips in a featherlight caress once, twice, before they press at the corner of Lavi's mouth.]
Maybe... maybe we're both idiots then, for not realizing.
[It's almost calming, to say it - to admit it. Enough so that something else slithers in to catch his awareness... Lavi's hand feels like it's burning against his bare skin, warms his own hands a little too much. Impulsively, he traces his nose along a damp cheek, darts his tongue out to slowly catch the lingering evidence of tears along a jaw before he whispers beside his partner's ear.]
But you're still too warm. You need rest, and probably food... [Breath catching, his eyes fall shut, temple resting against temple, more care than he knows how to voice there in the way he's holding, supporting, Lavi.] Just don't push me away, not this time.