[He couldn't have said why, of all the reactions he could have had to those words from Lavi... why he'd stepped in to something so intimate, something undeniably real. But it had been a line crossed without hesitation or doubt.
And it had been a line crossed, in anger and frustration and fear of losing something that means so very much more.
But the shock of seeing that spark of desire in the other's eye before crimson lashes fell to hide it, of feeling his partner yield into the advance, the way slightly chapped lips parted beneath his own... of their bodies pressed flush once again, just before the shock of something warm, wet hitting his wrist...
The anger drains out of him with a shudder at those tears, leaving only a resonating sense of desperation in its wake, the realization that this is something neither of them can afford to lose.
Him, because Lavi makes him human - he brings color and chaos into the too regimented life he's clinging to - and Lavi, because without this, he'd all too easily cast aside the humanity Kanda can still see within him. He'd lose that degree of compassion, of decency, just to sit back and watch atrocities unfold with a removed gaze, stuck lifeless just beyond the edge of being alive.
It's enough to cause another shudder to chase itself down Kanda's spine before he shifts, one arm dropping to slide once more around Lavi's waist, both an offer of strength to hold the other man up and an apology for the forcefulness of the moment before while the other hand glides slowly over, palm a light caress as his hand traces along the curve of a shoulder, the warmth of the other man's neck, until the caress settles to cradle the sharp line of Lavi's jaw, his thumb absently catching the damp lines on pale cheeks as he delves deeper into the kiss.
It feels like there's demand and a plea in the way his partner's lips tremble against his, that normally fierce and playful mouth still firm and yet now yielding, letting him taste the demand in the way they crush and glide against his own.
It's chaotic, leaves him twisting, breathless against their mutual assault... and utterly unable to step away, now.
Not that he wants to, at all. Instead, he deliberately draws back just enough to gasp in a ragged breath, and then he's diving in once more, the crush of his lips sure, insistent as the tip of his tongue darts out to trace the seam between lips, an intentionally slow, slick glide, another barrier crosses in order to answer desperation with desire, want with need.]
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And it had been a line crossed, in anger and frustration and fear of losing something that means so very much more.
But the shock of seeing that spark of desire in the other's eye before crimson lashes fell to hide it, of feeling his partner yield into the advance, the way slightly chapped lips parted beneath his own... of their bodies pressed flush once again, just before the shock of something warm, wet hitting his wrist...
The anger drains out of him with a shudder at those tears, leaving only a resonating sense of desperation in its wake, the realization that this is something neither of them can afford to lose.
Him, because Lavi makes him human - he brings color and chaos into the too regimented life he's clinging to - and Lavi, because without this, he'd all too easily cast aside the humanity Kanda can still see within him. He'd lose that degree of compassion, of decency, just to sit back and watch atrocities unfold with a removed gaze, stuck lifeless just beyond the edge of being alive.
It's enough to cause another shudder to chase itself down Kanda's spine before he shifts, one arm dropping to slide once more around Lavi's waist, both an offer of strength to hold the other man up and an apology for the forcefulness of the moment before while the other hand glides slowly over, palm a light caress as his hand traces along the curve of a shoulder, the warmth of the other man's neck, until the caress settles to cradle the sharp line of Lavi's jaw, his thumb absently catching the damp lines on pale cheeks as he delves deeper into the kiss.
It feels like there's demand and a plea in the way his partner's lips tremble against his, that normally fierce and playful mouth still firm and yet now yielding, letting him taste the demand in the way they crush and glide against his own.
It's chaotic, leaves him twisting, breathless against their mutual assault... and utterly unable to step away, now.
Not that he wants to, at all. Instead, he deliberately draws back just enough to gasp in a ragged breath, and then he's diving in once more, the crush of his lips sure, insistent as the tip of his tongue darts out to trace the seam between lips, an intentionally slow, slick glide, another barrier crosses in order to answer desperation with desire, want with need.]